Let's Get Real: April 2012

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 39

DAY #39: Love Endures

"Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:8

TODAY'S DARE:
Spend some time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.

MY REFLECTION:

I know that I have waited several days to complete this dare but I wanted to really seek what God wanted me to say to my husband. Today is his birthday and I thought that it would be a nice gift to purposefully give this letter to him rather than a store bought card. I have been teaching from 1 Corinthians 13 for the last 6 weeks, so this topic of "love" has been upper and foremost in my thoughts. By teaching and doing this dare simultaneously has challenged me greatly in how I look at love from two different angles; horizontally and vertically. How the Father loves me and I him... and how I love my husband. God demonstrates pure, selfless, unconditional love in the gift, God's sacrifice, of His Son Jesus Christ. The question I must ask myself is, can I, will I and do I love like that? To be honest, I have not, but I have a desire to. So, with this in mind, I wrote my husband his letter and wrote the scripture out of 1 Corinthians 13, broke down each attribute of love and gave my definition of each one of how I wanted to love my husband. Ending with my utmost declaration and commitment to him for always!

"he delights in unchanging love." Micah 7:18

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/13/Love-Dare-Day-39.aspx

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 38

DAY #38: Love Fulfills Dreams

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

TODAY'S DARE:
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

MY REFLECTION:

I have to confess, I met up with this challenge with resistance. As I was reading the part about what a husband could do for his wife, I immediately was like, "Why isn't my husband doing these things for me?" I think if we were all honest with ourselves most of us would admit that we would be willing to do so much more for our spouse if only they would do some for us. Well, the truth of that way of thinking is selfish (I know it stinks). My husband and I used to talk about our goals, dreams, desires and wants all the time. Over the years we've settled into the routine of "one days". Today's economy for most of us doesn't allow much wiggle room for extras. BUT... not everything costs money. I want to rediscover what my husbands dreams are. I know that a lot of mine have changed over the years, I'm sure some of his has changed as well. I want my husband to know that his dreams are a priority to me. Of course I want my dreams to be a priority to him as well... maybe all it takes is me making the first move!!

"God is able to make all grace abound to you." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 37

DAY #37: Love Agrees In Prayer

"If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father." Matthew 18:19

TODAY'S DARE:
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

MY REFLECTION:

My husband and I pray every night with our kids but we didn't always. We went away for a weekend in the fall of last year. It was the first time since our honeymoon, seven years ago, that we have gone away to be alone together. We went to a Christian retreat cabin where we had limited amenities, no running water and no electronic devices like out phones or computers. (Wouldn't have mattered anyway, we didn't have service:) Anyway, this weekend away was to spend time with God individually and as a couple. We needed some answers and needed to "unplug" from the everyday life with no distractions. One thing that God spoke to both of us was that we weren't lifting each other or our kids up in prayer. The only time that we prayed together was at meal time. So, upon our return from that weekend, my hubby and I began spending quality time with one another when he came home from work. It wasn't much time, maybe even only 10-15 minutes on some days, but it was more than what we had been doing and gave us the time to unload stuff from our day, get on the same page as a couple, and even pray together. Then we would go in and gather the girls and pray together as a family. This simple act of coming together for 30-45 minutes a day has changed our family. It's amazing what God can do through the unity that comes from humbling ourselves to lay our weaknesses, our hearts, our desires for all (in the family) to see. What was once being prayed for alone, or not even being prayed for at all, was now being exposed to 3 other people. There is power in prayer in numbers. We were all coming together for common needs. This has become a tradition in our family and not one night goes missed. Even if one of us is missing, we wait for all to come together or we pray for the member not there. Our family now has a unity and closeness that is immeasurable and we now are not fearful of mentioning what we need prayer for. POWERFUL!! It was awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning, especially because it was something new, different, and unexpected.... but most definitely worth it! If you are not praying for your family or praying together, don't hesitate another day. Start now!!

"In the morning my prayer comes before You." Psalm 88:13

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 36

DAY #36: Love Is God's Word

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and light to my path." Psalm 119:105

TODAY'S DARE:
Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

MY REFLECTION:

I have to confess, I have not disciplined myself to read the Bible every day. I know that it's important and I will pick up the Bible to look up scriptures but not sit and read like I would a novel. I have a great desire to read it that way and I pray that I can discipline myself to commit to do it. I am starting a Ladies Discipleship in a week and a half and I will be in the Bible every day. So, I'm sure that will help. As for Tommy and I reading the Bible together... I will work on that. Tommy doesn't care to read so it would be good for both of us to read it together. We have already committed to a devotional in the Fall so that will be interesting! :)

"Whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction." Romans 15:4

The Love Dare: Day 35

DAY #35: Love Is Accountable

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Proverb 15:22

TODAY'S DARE:
Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this progress, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

MY REFLECTION:

Tommy and I have had 3 couples as marriage mentors for at least the last 3 years. We also have individual people that we can share things with. We do have one rule. We have agreed together who those "individual people" are in each others lives. If we are going to talk about "deep" stuff that goes on in our marriage then we don't want to share that information with just anyone. That is why, respectively, we have agreed who we share those details with.

"In abundance of counselors, there is victory." Proverbs 11:14

The Love Dare: Day 34

DAY #34: Love Celebrates Godliness

"Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:6

TODAY'S DARE:
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for at some point today.

MY REFLECTION:

Today my husband chose not to call me out in public on something that I did, well actually failed to do. I had forgotten to mention a specific event that happened recently and was speaking about it freely with a couple we were visiting. He later told me that he was taken by surprise by the news and wondered why he wasn't told. I thought I had mentioned it but I was mistaken. I apologized and asked him if he was mad. He said no. I asked him if was irritated, upset, frustrated... anything!! He said no, and that he wasn't bothered by the news, just curious as to why he wasn't told. A slight misunderstanding but was worked out. The old hubby might have asked me what was going on and why wasn't he told, and ranted and raved, in front of who we were visiting. My husband has grown in his personal walk by leaps and bounds. I love the man that I am married to and I am honored to be his wife. We all have faults, no point in pointing out all of theirs when we have our own to work on!! Can I get an Amen??? :)

"I walk within my house in the integrity of my heart." Psalm 101:2

The Love Dare: Day 33

DAY #33: Love Completes Each Other

"If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one warm alone?" Ecclesiastes 4:11

TODAY'S DARE:
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today tat you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

MY REFLECTION:

I was raised to be an independent woman, not to depend on anyone, anything and especially not a man. I know, not a very "Christian" aspect to be taught. When I got married I was determined to rule the roost and let my husband know who was in charge. I was very controlling. After I divorced, I became even more independent. I was even more convinced that I didn't need a man to be complete. Then I met Tommy. He challenged me in many ways. He was just as independent as I was, if not more so in many ways. BUT, we learned A LOT. As ironic as this may sounds, to show that you are weak in an area shows strength. Where I am weak, Tommy is strong. Where he is weak, I am strong. God created us to complete one another, not to control each other. I've learned that hard way. I love my husband and I want him to know that he completes me. God brought us together as one, that means that we have to work together and recognize our weaknesses. Depending on each others strengths makes us one powerful source to be reckoned with. My husband and I have talked more in the last week about our future, upcoming events and decisions than we ever have. Coming from an independent nature to a submissive one, I'm blessed to have a husband who listens to me and respects me (as vocal as I may be:) just as I am. I am a blessed woman.

"Put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:14