Let's Get Real: 2012

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Transition

A lot has been going on since I last posted. I have been hired as a Children's Director at my church, my husband was laid off from his job and has left for Iowa to work in the corn fields for 8 weeks (1 down, 7 to go), I have started a home-based business, Aloette and I'm leaving for Scotland in 9 days on a missionary trip. Much has happened. Transition is a state of change and we must change in order to grow. I have had new revelations over the last couple of months about my theology and relationship with Christ and I look forward to sharing my new insights with all of my readers.. Thanks for checking up on me and I will be sure to post again soon!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 39

DAY #39: Love Endures

"Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:8

TODAY'S DARE:
Spend some time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.

MY REFLECTION:

I know that I have waited several days to complete this dare but I wanted to really seek what God wanted me to say to my husband. Today is his birthday and I thought that it would be a nice gift to purposefully give this letter to him rather than a store bought card. I have been teaching from 1 Corinthians 13 for the last 6 weeks, so this topic of "love" has been upper and foremost in my thoughts. By teaching and doing this dare simultaneously has challenged me greatly in how I look at love from two different angles; horizontally and vertically. How the Father loves me and I him... and how I love my husband. God demonstrates pure, selfless, unconditional love in the gift, God's sacrifice, of His Son Jesus Christ. The question I must ask myself is, can I, will I and do I love like that? To be honest, I have not, but I have a desire to. So, with this in mind, I wrote my husband his letter and wrote the scripture out of 1 Corinthians 13, broke down each attribute of love and gave my definition of each one of how I wanted to love my husband. Ending with my utmost declaration and commitment to him for always!

"he delights in unchanging love." Micah 7:18

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/13/Love-Dare-Day-39.aspx

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 38

DAY #38: Love Fulfills Dreams

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

TODAY'S DARE:
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

MY REFLECTION:

I have to confess, I met up with this challenge with resistance. As I was reading the part about what a husband could do for his wife, I immediately was like, "Why isn't my husband doing these things for me?" I think if we were all honest with ourselves most of us would admit that we would be willing to do so much more for our spouse if only they would do some for us. Well, the truth of that way of thinking is selfish (I know it stinks). My husband and I used to talk about our goals, dreams, desires and wants all the time. Over the years we've settled into the routine of "one days". Today's economy for most of us doesn't allow much wiggle room for extras. BUT... not everything costs money. I want to rediscover what my husbands dreams are. I know that a lot of mine have changed over the years, I'm sure some of his has changed as well. I want my husband to know that his dreams are a priority to me. Of course I want my dreams to be a priority to him as well... maybe all it takes is me making the first move!!

"God is able to make all grace abound to you." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 37

DAY #37: Love Agrees In Prayer

"If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father." Matthew 18:19

TODAY'S DARE:
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

MY REFLECTION:

My husband and I pray every night with our kids but we didn't always. We went away for a weekend in the fall of last year. It was the first time since our honeymoon, seven years ago, that we have gone away to be alone together. We went to a Christian retreat cabin where we had limited amenities, no running water and no electronic devices like out phones or computers. (Wouldn't have mattered anyway, we didn't have service:) Anyway, this weekend away was to spend time with God individually and as a couple. We needed some answers and needed to "unplug" from the everyday life with no distractions. One thing that God spoke to both of us was that we weren't lifting each other or our kids up in prayer. The only time that we prayed together was at meal time. So, upon our return from that weekend, my hubby and I began spending quality time with one another when he came home from work. It wasn't much time, maybe even only 10-15 minutes on some days, but it was more than what we had been doing and gave us the time to unload stuff from our day, get on the same page as a couple, and even pray together. Then we would go in and gather the girls and pray together as a family. This simple act of coming together for 30-45 minutes a day has changed our family. It's amazing what God can do through the unity that comes from humbling ourselves to lay our weaknesses, our hearts, our desires for all (in the family) to see. What was once being prayed for alone, or not even being prayed for at all, was now being exposed to 3 other people. There is power in prayer in numbers. We were all coming together for common needs. This has become a tradition in our family and not one night goes missed. Even if one of us is missing, we wait for all to come together or we pray for the member not there. Our family now has a unity and closeness that is immeasurable and we now are not fearful of mentioning what we need prayer for. POWERFUL!! It was awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning, especially because it was something new, different, and unexpected.... but most definitely worth it! If you are not praying for your family or praying together, don't hesitate another day. Start now!!

"In the morning my prayer comes before You." Psalm 88:13

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 36

DAY #36: Love Is God's Word

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and light to my path." Psalm 119:105

TODAY'S DARE:
Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

MY REFLECTION:

I have to confess, I have not disciplined myself to read the Bible every day. I know that it's important and I will pick up the Bible to look up scriptures but not sit and read like I would a novel. I have a great desire to read it that way and I pray that I can discipline myself to commit to do it. I am starting a Ladies Discipleship in a week and a half and I will be in the Bible every day. So, I'm sure that will help. As for Tommy and I reading the Bible together... I will work on that. Tommy doesn't care to read so it would be good for both of us to read it together. We have already committed to a devotional in the Fall so that will be interesting! :)

"Whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction." Romans 15:4

The Love Dare: Day 35

DAY #35: Love Is Accountable

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Proverb 15:22

TODAY'S DARE:
Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this progress, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

MY REFLECTION:

Tommy and I have had 3 couples as marriage mentors for at least the last 3 years. We also have individual people that we can share things with. We do have one rule. We have agreed together who those "individual people" are in each others lives. If we are going to talk about "deep" stuff that goes on in our marriage then we don't want to share that information with just anyone. That is why, respectively, we have agreed who we share those details with.

"In abundance of counselors, there is victory." Proverbs 11:14

The Love Dare: Day 34

DAY #34: Love Celebrates Godliness

"Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:6

TODAY'S DARE:
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for at some point today.

MY REFLECTION:

Today my husband chose not to call me out in public on something that I did, well actually failed to do. I had forgotten to mention a specific event that happened recently and was speaking about it freely with a couple we were visiting. He later told me that he was taken by surprise by the news and wondered why he wasn't told. I thought I had mentioned it but I was mistaken. I apologized and asked him if he was mad. He said no. I asked him if was irritated, upset, frustrated... anything!! He said no, and that he wasn't bothered by the news, just curious as to why he wasn't told. A slight misunderstanding but was worked out. The old hubby might have asked me what was going on and why wasn't he told, and ranted and raved, in front of who we were visiting. My husband has grown in his personal walk by leaps and bounds. I love the man that I am married to and I am honored to be his wife. We all have faults, no point in pointing out all of theirs when we have our own to work on!! Can I get an Amen??? :)

"I walk within my house in the integrity of my heart." Psalm 101:2

The Love Dare: Day 33

DAY #33: Love Completes Each Other

"If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one warm alone?" Ecclesiastes 4:11

TODAY'S DARE:
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today tat you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

MY REFLECTION:

I was raised to be an independent woman, not to depend on anyone, anything and especially not a man. I know, not a very "Christian" aspect to be taught. When I got married I was determined to rule the roost and let my husband know who was in charge. I was very controlling. After I divorced, I became even more independent. I was even more convinced that I didn't need a man to be complete. Then I met Tommy. He challenged me in many ways. He was just as independent as I was, if not more so in many ways. BUT, we learned A LOT. As ironic as this may sounds, to show that you are weak in an area shows strength. Where I am weak, Tommy is strong. Where he is weak, I am strong. God created us to complete one another, not to control each other. I've learned that hard way. I love my husband and I want him to know that he completes me. God brought us together as one, that means that we have to work together and recognize our weaknesses. Depending on each others strengths makes us one powerful source to be reckoned with. My husband and I have talked more in the last week about our future, upcoming events and decisions than we ever have. Coming from an independent nature to a submissive one, I'm blessed to have a husband who listens to me and respects me (as vocal as I may be:) just as I am. I am a blessed woman.

"Put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:14

Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 32

DAY #32: Love Meets Sexual Need

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband."

1 Corinthians 7:3

TODAY'S DARE:
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to your) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

MY REFLECTION:

Several years ago I learned an important lesson. That lesson was, my husband is my number one ministry. There is no one on this planet that God designed to meet his needs like me. Now, does that mean I am at his beck and call whenever he wants something, indeed not. It means that no other ministry is greater than serving my husband in a Godly way. God designed sex to be beautiful and cherished. Not dirty and convenient. I have found that I let life, kids, church and school get in the way of choosing to put my husband, his needs and mine, first. Today, I put him first! :)

"How beautiful and how delightful you are, my love." Song of Solomon 7:6

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 31

DAY #31: Love and Marriage

"A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

TODAY'S DARE:
Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess is to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

MY REFLECTION:

I believe that my closeness to my mother affected my 1st marriage in many ways. I never "left" my parents and "cleaved" to my husband. I still depended on Mama & Daddy to come to the rescue and looked to them many times when I should have depended on my husband. When I married Tommy my daily conversations with my Mama got shorter and eventually stopped altogether, where we now text often and only speak on the phone maybe once a week. About 2 years in to my marriage I realized that I had truly severed the apron strings! It was only about a year ago that I severed the spiritual apron strings as well. I recognized that I had an unhealthy soul tie with my Mama and had to break it and set healthy boundaries in our relationship. I definitely noticed a difference in the "oneness" of my marriage after that. By doing this, it allowed Tommy and I to totally focus on one another and depend on each others discernment for decisions that needed to be made. I pray that when my girls are ready to leave the nest that I do not hinder them in any way! I love them dearly and cannot imagine my life without their daily presence, but I know the day will come when God chooses their mate and they will want that healthy "oneness" with him.

"May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You." John 17:21

The Love Dare: Day 30

DAY #30: Love Brings Unity

"Father, keep them in Your name, the name which you have given Me, that they may be one even as We are one." John 17:11

TODAY'S DARE:
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss the matter openly, seeking God for unity.

MY REFLECTION:

I do not like to argue. Everyone in my family may disagree with that statement because I am SO good at it. LOL! It is not my heart, though. There are so many times that I want to talk to my husband and share my feelings and it not turn into an argument. I long for the opportunity to be completely united with my hubby, not just in "marriage" but in thought too. If we can listen to one another with an unoffendable spirit, WOW!!! That's the type of unity that I long for. This last week I have slacked in doing the love dare and it shows. There has not been much "oneness" going on. My prayer is I want to be quick to think and not quick to react. I want to hear my husband's heart and be heard in return.

"The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!" Deuteronomy 6:4

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 29

DAY #29: Love Motivation

"Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men." Ephesians 6:7

TODAY'S DARE:
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person -- unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

MY REFLECTION:

God blessed me with a partner to love, to cherish, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. I think too often, too many take those vows for granted; that the "honeymoon" feeling will last forever. I want to love my husband as Christ loves me! When times get rough and life seems mundane and monotonous... I still need to love my husband. It's easy to love our spouses when everything is going great, it's when life throws us lemons... God gave us someone to stand beside us... and help make lemonade!

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 28

DAY #28: Love Encourages

"He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16

TODAY'S DARE:
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

MY REFLECTION:

My husband carries a tremendous amount of stress on his shoulders. I know that there are times that I add to his stress rather than taking some stress away. These past few days we both have been VERY busy. We have barely seen each other. I would love to be able to ease some of his stress but haven't been able to find the opportunity to. I know that the dare says to "sacrifice"... I'm praying that God sets up the perfect opportunity and shows me what to sacrifice. I want to be a godly helpmate for my spouse, therefore, I need to help my husband release his stress to the One who can give him peace.

"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 27

DAY #27: Love Encourages

"Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You." Psalm 25:20

TODAY'S DARE:
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think on one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

MY REFLECTION:

A wise woman once taught me that if you have a complaint or problem with something concerning your husband, mention it to him once, then take it to God. Sometimes I can't stand to hear myself. I get that whine in my tone and I know I'm repeating myself (AKA: nagging). I hear it, know it's coming out of my mouth, should stop.... comes out anyway! One unreal expectation I used to have on my husband was that no matter what my problem with him was, he was supposed to fix it immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, NOW! Well, that didn't work out too well! I'm still in the process of learning that my husband too, is a work in process. He won't change overnight. I know that the Lord is working on Him, just the same as I know He is working on me. My hubby has come a long way since we said "I do." One of the biggest lessons I learned was that I don't want my husband having expectations on me that I am doomed to fail... so, why should I have unreal expectations on my husband that will only set him up failure? I want that man to succeed and I don't want to be a stumbling block for him. Who better to work on him than the One who created him? God knows I can't change him, and you know what? I don't want to. Besides, I fell in love with him, imperfections and all AND, he loves me, just the way I am!

"Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:24

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 26

DAY #26: Love Is Responsible

"When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things."

Romans 2:1

TODAY'S DARE:
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as council.

MY REFLECTION:

I was at a neighbors house when a storm hit. Lightening and thunder all around. One of those moments when all you want to do is curl up in bed with a good book and settle in for night. I ran home in between lightening streaks and burst through my front door soaking wet, just to realize that no one was in the house. Now, I have a big black mutt named Bonzie, who is absolutely terrified of storms. What I came home to was a picture torn off the wall, books all over the hall floor (from where she had tried to claw her way into my bedroom), a puddle of pee, and a terrified, wide-eyed, trembling doggie. I couldn't get mad at her, but, I was mad. I had left my youngest daughter at home to be with Bonzie while I visited our neighbor. She had left the house to help her dad, whom I had also made aware that I was visiting and why I had left our daughter behind. So, you can guess who I took my anger out on! Not the dog, of course! My "innocent" husband. He and a friend were sitting on the front porch by this time listening and watching the storm. I flung open the front door and proceeded too "chew out" my husband. Yeah, I know, in front of his friend too! Bad girl! I said all that I had to say, came in and slammed the door. Didn't feel any better, didn't accomplish anything, other than to humiliate myself and possibly embarrassing my husband. He soon came in and quietly sat on the couch. Normally, this would be about the time that he stomps around and refuses to look at me or accept any apologies. He looked at me and with tears in my eyes, I humbly asked him to forgive me and explained that I knew I had no right to take my anger out on him. Do you know what my husband then did?? He tried to hold it back... not very successfully. He laughed. He said that I was the funniest sight, coming out there with my hair sticking every where, mascara streaming down my face and soaking wet. He said I looked like a mad woman. He knew I was mad but understood that I just needed an outlet and he was willing to be that for me if it meant I didn't kill the dog. Bless his heart!! He heard my heart and responded to it, not my actions! I sure do love that man!!! I am not always received with such understanding, but it sure is nice knowing that my husband loves me unconditionally and is willing to get to know my heart so he can tolerate the rare occasions of the unleashed, unstable wild woman! :)

"Each one must examine his own work . . . in regard to himself alone." Galatians 6:4

The Love Dare: Day 25

DAY #25: Love Forgives

"What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ."

2 Corinthians 2:10

TODAY'S DARE:
Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "forgive us our debts" each day, we must ask Him to help us "forgive our debtors" each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive."

MY REFLECTION:

I am currently walking through a season of test. A test of forgiveness. One thing I have realized with this test is that I have had to examine my husband and admit any unforgiveness. I truly feel that I have forgiven my husband of deeds done that hurt me in the past. I have also asked for forgiveness of my own wrong-doings toward him. We are ok. Where I have failed this test so far is with my dads, biological and step. My goal is to have true healing within both of those relationships for myself. I am currently in the process of walking out the forgiveness. It's just easier said than done. But I know that I am not alone and God has already gone before me and paved my way. What an awesome God!!

"Father, forgive them; for they do not know not what they are doing." Luke 23:34

The Love Dare: Day 24

DAY #24: Love vs. Lust

"The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever."

1 John 2:17

TODAY'S DARE:
End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed -- today -- and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

MY REFLECTION:

All I can say about this dare is that if you have anything that is not godly that you participate in, stop! Just because no one knows, doesn't mean that it is hidden. God knows and it's not worth it. Don't sacrifice your eternity by participating in anything ungodly. Your spouse should be your number two priority! God first! Spouse second! And remember, if you think it's not hurting anyone... that's a lie and we all know who the author of lies is!! Satan knows our weaknesses and will try every way possible to turn you away from God and your spouse. With God all things are possible and He has already fought the fight, we just have to follow His lead!!

"Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil." 1 Peter 2:16

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 23

DAY #23: Love Always Protects

"Love always protects." 1 Corinthians 13:7

TODAY'S DARE:
Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.

MY REFLECTION:

After reading this passage I examined each of the areas that is highlighted to see if I have something or things that hinder my relationship. Parasites: I am not aware of any. Shame: I have been guilty of correcting my husband in front of our kids or disagreeing with him publicly. I have worked on this in past years and ever once in a while I'll catch myself and apologize and quickly exhort my husband. Unhealthy Relationships: In the past I have had those that I considered "friends" but realized that every time I was around them I walked away feeling yucky. I try to eliminate those in my life that speak negative things around me, especially those that speak negatively about their own marriage and speak badly about their spouse. Harmful Influences: This is where I have discovered that I have something that hinders my relationship. TV. I watch TV late at night with my oldest daughter. It's an opportunity to spend quality time with her doing something that we both enjoy and that is the excuse that I have used to justify doing it. By doing this I am not spending as much quality time with my husband. I have to find the common ground and set healthy boundaries, putting my husband as the first priority. One thing that I am in the process of doing is learning to say "no". I have to say no to the things that take me away from 1) God, 2) my husband and 3) my kids. That would include time watching TV, on the computer, reading, etc...

"You will be restored if you remove unrighteousness far from your tent." Job 22:23

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 22

DAY #22: Love Is Faithful

"I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord." Hosea 2:20

TODAY'S DARE:
Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."

MY REFLECTION:

I have often wondered why I no longer have that mushy feeling anymore where my husband is concerned. Recently I have discovered that that means I am no longer on drugs. Before you react, the marriage encounter that I attended this past weekend enlightened me to several things. One of those things was that love is a choice, not a feeling. When we first are attracted to that special someone, our brain produces several different "drugs" that make us all googly-eyed, sweaty palms, can't eat, can't sleep, drug-induced; in other words we get addicted. After we "fall-in-love" and after the honeymoon, the "drugs" wear off. What we then have to decide is do we go find a different drug or do we stay and really begin to learn the "one" that God hand picked for us. I choose to love my man and learn as much as I can about him and one day, I'm almost positive, I'll be more "addicted" to him than I ever thought I liked the "drugs" that attracted us.

"I have chosen the faithful way." Psalm 119:30

Monday, March 12, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 21

DAY #21: Love Is Satisfied in God

"The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire." Isaiah 58:11

TODAY'S DARE:
Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of proverbs each day (there are 31 - a full month's supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as walk with Him.

MY REFLECTION:

I apologize for the lapse in entries over the weekend, so, instead of trying to make them up, I will begin where I left off. Our church hosted a Marriage Encounter this weekend and I received more than I bargained for. It was a great weekend with much needed revelation. Although, due to the Encounter, I spent a lot of focus on my spouse, God, and in His word. I haven't read in my Bible above and beyond what was asked of me at the Encounter and in preparation for Sunday service. I do plan to read the book of Proverbs starting in April. Until then, I will pick up where I last left off from reading the Bible cover to cover. I began earlier last year and let life get in the way of my completing it. Funny, how we need the Word to instruct us through life and we let life prevent us from reading the instruction manual. Hmmm. Food for thought. :)

"You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing." Psalm 145:16

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 20

DAY #20: Love Is Jesus Christ

"While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

TODAY'S DARE:
Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, "Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner. But you have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace."

MY REFLECTION:

Along this journey, God has rekindled that spark that once blazed for my husband. I desire to read my Bible and spend time with God, not only to talk His ear off, but to listen to Him whisper to me; His sweet endearments, answers to fervent prayers, His nudges in the path He has chosen for me. I trust that God can fill my vessel and that my husband was never equipped to meet all my needs, but was only designed to be a tool to demonstrate God's love. As I am only a tool that God can use to demonstrate His love toward my spouse. God designed a husband and wife to become one with one another but by using God as the glue! Thank you, Lord, for my husband and help me to love him like You love him.

"In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them." Isaiah 63:9

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/25/Love-Dare-Day-20.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 19

DAY #19: Love Is Impossible

"Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7

TODAY'S DARE:
Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

MY REFLECTION:

Along this journey you may have realized that by only completing the day's dare is not enough. Each dare builds upon the last. Just because we are on day 20 doesn't mean that we no longer have patience with our spouse, or stop being thoughtful, kind or selfish. For myself, patience for my husband has been one of the toughest dares so far. It seems like when you recognize that you need to be patient and are trying hard to be patient (like day 1) everything tests it. It's easy to get back in to the habit of not holding your tongue and making known to your spouse exactly how you feel, no matter the consequences. That brings me to today's dare, reflecting on my relationship with Christ. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior 19 years ago. I have felt His unconditional love and know that He has the utmost patience with me. My conclusion is that if the Lord can be patient with me, and believe me, I can be stubborn at times; then I should be able to witness that same unconditional love and patience with the one that God chose for me to live my life with.

Lord,

Help me to be a light in this world and show your unconditional love to those that you bring into my life but most of all, to my husband. Through my relationship with You, prayer, and reading your truth, help me to demonstrate what You so freely show me. Thank you, Lord, for loving me so much that you gave Your life so I might have life, and have it more abundantly. Thank you for your forgiveness, grace and mercy. Amen!

"This is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/24/Love-Dare-Day-19.aspx

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 18

DAY #18: Love Seeks to Understand

"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the who gains understanding." Proverbs 3:13

TODAY'S DARE:
Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

MY REFLECTION:

Unfortunately, my carefully laid out plans were interrupted by unforeseen circumstances. We were not able to have our private dinner for two nor was I was able to talk with my husband about anything that just concerned us. BUT, I did make plans for a date night later in the week and even shared with my husband that I wanted to talk about us, not our problems of the day, unless they pertain to the specifics of the conversation, of course. :)

"Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding." Proverbs 4:7

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/23/Love-Dare-Day-18.aspx

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 17

DAY #17: Love Promotes Intimacy

"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

TODAY'S DARE:
Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

MY REFLECTION:

Fortunately, my husband and I have had a similar conversation recently. I believe that we both feel secure and safe knowing each others deepest "junk". I do believe, however, that there are times when we feel insecure. I feel the most insecure, where Tommy is concerned, when we haven't had a hear-to-heart in a while, or spent quality time with each other, or been intimate. It's easy for that "voice" to plant seeds of doubt in my mind. That is when it is the most difficult for me to convince myself that my husband loves me just the way I am. All my failures, my insecurities, my self-consciousness, all of it. I "know" he loves me irregardless, just harder to convince the heart sometimes.

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." Song of Solomon 6:3

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/22/Love-Dare-Day-17.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 16

DAY #16: Love Intercedes

"Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers." 3 John 2

TODAY'S DARE:
Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.

MY REFLECTION:

I am definitely guilty of this. I have tried too many times to count to change my spouse by whatever methods deemed necessary at the time. Manipulation, coercion, begging, nagging, whining, pouting, griping.... I've tried it all. None of it ever works! That would be the definition of insanity. A wise woman once told me that if something bugged you about your husband then you tell him once, then take it to God after that. If it continued to bother me, then I was the one with the problem. There should be a freedom in trusting the God of the universe who makes the impossible, possible, with our spouse. I know that is easier said than done, especially when you feel like you have carpet burn on your knees for praying so much for them. He hears every one of our prayers and knows the desires of our heart. He also knows the desires of our spouses heart and has a plan for them that will only happen in His timing. I believe that if we are having to wait on our answers for our spouse then the waiting process is more for our benefit than theirs. We still have something that needs to be learned, a heart that needs to be patient, faith that needs to be built stronger. We have to learn to love our spouse, for better or for worse, even if the worse seems more prominent. God answers all prayers, sometimes the answer is "Yes", sometimes the answer is "No", and sometimes the answer is "Not right now." The "not right now" answers are the hardest to accept because we live in a culture where everything is supposed to happen when we want it; fast food, emails, text messages. God doesn't conform to our way of our life, we are supposed to conform to His. I prayed for Tommy tonight! I prayed for his health, his work and his position in our household. I prayed that God would speak to him on how to be a brighter light at work. I prayed that God would give him ways to spend more time with our daughters. And above all else, I prayed that God would speak to my husband about what his purpose is and to give him direction and insight. Pray for your spouse. It truly does work!

"If anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He listens to him." John 9:31

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/21/Love-Dare-Day-16.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 15

DAY #15: Love Is Honorable

"Live with your wives in a understanding way... and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." 1 Peter 3:7

TODAY'S DARE:
Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

MY REFLECTION:

Again, today, I was at the church finishing with the decorating. I felt limited in what I could do to accomplish today's dare. I did take him lunch while at work but that wasn't really going above and beyond what I would normally do, so that didn't count... much! He did come spend time with me again this evening while decorating. He was only supposed to be there for a little while and wound up being there for several hours. He was so patient and followed me around and talked to me. He talked about work and all the stuff that he had going on and I listened to him without interrupting him and he helped me periodically without complaining. It was nice. I took an interest in his work by listening, he took an interest in my work by being patient and not complaining. We don't often communicate in that way, but I see it happening more and more here lately. I would like to think that he is seeing a change in me. I do honor Tommy and respect him more than he knows. I try to let him know by telling him but I'm beginning to understand that he feels respected most when I show it: by listening to him, not interrupting or complaining, greeting him with open arms when he comes home, having his laundry done, simple stuff like that! :) To be very transparent... it's easy to be honorable and respected with someone who is also showing honor and respect in return. When it's tough is on a day when it all seems to blow up in your face. That's the part that I'm working on!

"I will also honor them and they will not be insignificant." Jeremiah 30:19

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/20/Love-Dare-Day-15.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 14

DAY #14: Love Takes Delight

"Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life." Ecclesiastes 9:9

TODAY'S DARE:
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together.

MY REFLECTION:

This dare was not possible today. I had to decorate at the church and I'm on a time frame. I may be able to do it tomorrow. I know it may sound like I should sacrifice for my husband but this job only happens every 6-12 weeks and only lasts for 2-3 days. This one was just bad timing. On the other hand, my husband did make a point to come spend about an hour with me at the church. We fussed most of the time but I still appreciated his presence. I didn't get the chance to let him know that, but I will.

"Give me your heart... and let your eyes delight in my ways." Proverbs 23:26

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/19/Love-Dare-Day-14.aspx

Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 13

DAY #13: Love Fights Fair

"If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand." Mark 3:25

TODAY'S DARE:
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

MY REFLECTION:

Tommy and I used to not fight fair and every once in a while we forget we have rules that we are supposed to abide by. About three years ago, a very wise man who was helping Tommy and I through a rough patch asked us if we had healthy rules for fighting. Neither of us knew what he was talking about. We then sat down and proceeded to "argue" about what rules we would have. That was one crazy argument. We argued about arguing! LOL! We eventually came up with a list that, since then, we have stuck to as best as we could. Our rules are similar to the ones mentioned in today's reading, just worded a little differently. I think that it is very important to not bring up the past. I used to do that all the time, like it was my own personal ammo when I felt like the "argument" was getting nowhere. We have learned to deal with each event as they arise so they will not turn into issues later. Someone once told us, you can never resolve an issue only events. So, that's what we do. We make sure we are OK and that we have forgiven one another before going to bed on a day where we have had a disagreement. It has been more peaceful in our house and arguments don't last near as long!

"Be of the same mind toward one another." Romans 12:16

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/18/Love-Dare-Day-13.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 12

DAY #12: Love Lets the Other Win

"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:4

TODAY'S DARE:
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preferences first.

MY REFLECTION:

Well, I think I failed at today's dare. I haven't seen my husband all day and you would think that the minute we did see each other there would be a warm welcome on both of our parts. No such luck. It was like I was a ticking time bomb. One little thing he said set me off. Ugh!! I don't like myself when I do that, but it's like once my mouth opens and the words start pouring out it takes an act of God to shut my mouth. I went on and on about little stuff that bugged and I got him ticked off. The act of God eventually happened and I shut my mouth. He stormed out of the room. After taking a few deep breaths and a swift kick in behind from God, I swallowed my pride and shuffled into the room where my husband was fuming. I apologized and admitted that I was wrong and that he didn't deserve me talking to him in the way I did. I then left him alone. He wasn't so quick to forgive but when we prayed together as a family he thanked God for a wife who understood him enough to give him room to calm down and just because he didn't immediately respond that didn't mean he wasn't listening. Before he went to bed he said I was forgiven and he even apologized for his remarks that he had made in his anger. I love my husband more than I love being right (even though that's nice sometimes too:). Our marriage is worth sacrificing selfish pride and learning to listen to the other.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12:18

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/17/Love-Dare-Day-12.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 11

DAY #11: Love Cherishes

"Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies." Ephesians 5:28

TODAY'S DARE:
What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

MY REFLECTION:

I actually got completely caught up on my husband's laundry. This may not sound like a big deal to some, but for my husband and I, this is a task. I have asked my husband to clean out his pockets, turn his socks the right side out, and empty his pockets. (I'm forever washing lighters, nails, receipts) I despise doing these things in order to wash his clothes. I have asked him to do this on Thursday night so I can wash on Friday. That way, I'm not doing laundry on the weekend and he has clean clothes early Monday morning. Does it get done this way? NO!! This is a constant source of nagging in our house, from both of us. He wants to know why he doesn't have clean clothes; I proceed to tell him that if he would just do the ONE thing I've asked him to do concerning his laundry he would have clean clothes. SO, with all that being said, today, I did his laundry. With no fuss, no "why didn't you get them ready for me?", and no nagging from him. His clothes were laundered, folded AND put away. I didn't even bring his attention to it when he got home. Nice thing was, I didn't have to. He immediately noticed and thanked me. Miracles do still happen!! :)

"Answering, Jesus said, "What do you want Me to do for you?" Mark 10:51

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/16/Love-Dare-Day-11.aspx

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 10

DAY #10: Love Is Unconditional
"God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ dies for us." Romans 5:8

TODAY'S DARE:
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse. Something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

MY REFLECTION:
I was so proud of myself today. I stopped and bought my hubby an iced honey bun and a Mt. Dew and had it waiting for him in front of his coffee cup. I proceeded to run a hot bath for him, I greeted him warmly... then... wait for it... wait for it... It was less than thirty minutes after he emerged from the bathroom that we were snapping at each other. And we didn't catch ourselves! Ugh!! Satan makes me so mad!! The truth about Satan is that he truly comes to steel, kill and destroy anything that we let him sink his claws in. And for those of us who are married, Satan loves to attack the marriage. Ever since beginning the journey on the Love Dare this time, I have encountered a challenge every step of the way. Satan is not happy that I have a desire to make my marriage stronger and "fireproof". If your spouse, you or your marriage under attack today, STOP! Our strongest weapon is the Bible and it's the LIVING word of God. Remember,

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33. God never said it would easy, but He did say He would never leave us nor forsake. It's comforting to know that I can mess up. And even if I don't always get the desired response from my husband, my God knows my heart and He is always there and knows all about me and the decisions I make, the wise and the foolish. Thank you Lord for guiding me in Your will.

"He who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him." Psalm 32:10

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/15/Love-Dare-Day-10.aspx

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 9

DAY #9: Love Makes Good Impressions
"Greet one another with a kiss" 1 Peter 5:14

TODAY'S DARE:
Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

MY REFLECTION:
Just the other day I had to ask my spouse 3 things that irritated him about myself. He shared with me that how I brushed him off when I greeted him irritated him. How ironic that this dare would find me only days after that confession. Today was Sunday, therefore we were together all day. Not exactly the best day for this challenge. I had resolved to change how I greet my husband already, so tomorrow would be the best day to put my greeting to the test... or so I thought. My husband and I laid down for a nap after lunch and didn't wake until late in the evening. I got up later than my husband and eventually ventured out into the living room. He was so happy to see me and spoke to me enthusiastically, like he had been waiting for me to get up. I started to mumble an unintelligent response and realized quickly that God had given me an opportunity to greet my husband according to His word, and we never even left the house. I smiled at him and gave him a kiss. My husband then proceeded to do something that only happens at rare (VERY RARE) moments. He completely opened himself up to me and was very transparent. He revealed some deep insecurities that he has and concerns for the future. He was so humble and sincere! I love that man. God is so good and even when we think something in impossible or inconvenient He shows us different!

"For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love." Philemon 7

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/14/Love-Dare-Day-9.aspx

Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 8

DAY #8: Love Is Not Jealous
"Love is as strong as death, its jealousy as unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire"

Song of Solomon 8:6

TODAY'S DARE:
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

MY REFLECTION:
Do you ever have good intentions to do something and then let your flesh get in the way? That's what happened today. I let a moment of selfishness rob me of a potential good conversation with my husband. I had good intentions of bringing up some things that my husband had recently done that I was proud of. THEN... life happened! Attitudes. Someone said something one way, it was interpreted another way, one thing led to another... small argument.... I didn't feel like boosting my husband up at the end of that particular "discussion". So, I never got to tell him how proud I was of him. How many days have gone by that I have let a disagreement come in the way of telling my husband how proud I am of him, or how I honor him, or how much I love him? Today really made me think about how petty many of those disagreements have been and how I should never have let them rule my decision to keep such encouragements from my husband. He needs to hear them!! I burned my list of negative attributes with the decision that I will focus more on the good qualities my husband possesses versus the negative. Focusing on the negative can only rob us of the joy that God intended for us to enjoy today!

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/13/Love-Dare-Day-8.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 7

DAY #7: Love Believes the Best
"Love believes all things, hopes all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7

TODAY'S DARE:
For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

MY REFLECTION:
WOW! To be honest, it was difficult to write both lists. I have attempted this love dare in the past and on this specific dare, the negative list has always been easier to write and much longer than the positive list. Not so this time around. I put a lot of thought into what I truly found desirable in my husband and on the flip side, the things that really detest me. This is the man I fell in love with, all of him, the good and the bad. So, even his negative attributes aren't so bad. They make him who he is. One of his positive attributes that I listed was dedicated and loves God. I recognize in my husband now, (too selfish to notice in the past), that he loves God and desires to change the negative things that influence his and my life. He honestly works on those things and has gotten so much better. I think that's why this dare was difficult. We all have negative flaws, and I hope that my husband sees that I work on mine every day and that I have a desire to be the woman that God has designed me to be so I can be a better helpmate for my husband. I'm a lot less inclined to point out his faults. We are all works in progress.

I told my husband that I loved that he is a dedicated man and strives to do the things that he thinks I like and that I love him for that!

"If there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/12/Love-Dare-Day-7.aspx

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Love Dare: Day 6

DAY #6: Love Is Not Irritable
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16:32

TODAY'S DARE:
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

MY REFLECTION:
Today, my husband and I were at Lowe's purchasing the items to finish our master shower. Needless to say, we got into a full blown disagreement right there in front of the shower heads... which is a pretty public and inappropriate place to argue. We both caught ourselves and apologized profusely to the employee standing a few feet away, who just a few minutes earlier had been trying to help us and I rudely dismissed. Ugh! Not me at my best, to say the least. We apologized to one another and asked for the others' forgiveness. The disagreement was so unnecessary and we both new that to begin with, but stress led us both, head first, into the argument. There was no margin at that time.

For me, the translation for margin is simply this, grace. What areas in my life have I not extended grace? That is the question, and to be honest, a lot! I like to think that I show an abundance of grace when I don't let my anger loose, in other words, I hold my tongue. But I am still irritable in certain cases. I do believe that there are times that I do exhibit grace, other times, maybe I'm just real good at self-control. I believe that the triggers for my irritability is due to stress, selfishness and pride... some key reasons that are mentioned in today's full reading that you can find at the link listed below. I believe that we all have room for "margin" in our lives, beginning with our spouse, children and with ourselves. We don't need to have unreal expectations on ourselves or we are bound for failure.

Very simple: I need to add margin to my life when it pertains to my relationship with my husband, my kids, homeschooling and work!

"The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious." Ecclesiastes 10:12

To read today's full dare from the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick please copy and paste to your address bar the link posted below.

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/11/Love-Dare-Day-6.aspx

The Love Dare: Day 5

DAY #5: Love Is Not Rude
"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." Proverbs 27:14

TODAY'S DARE:
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

MY REFLECTION:
I have discovered it is not just in my imagination that I don't get many opportunities in the week to have heart to heart conversations with my hubby. It took two days to be able to ask him what three things about me irritate him. It was almost like pulling teeth. I finally had to ask him if it was really that hard to come up with 3 irritating things, or if he was afraid of how I would react if he was honest with me. I reassured him that I would not attack him or be offended by his response. He said it was because it was 11:00 at night. Touche! Two of the three things he mentioned were not news to me. He's told me before, the revelation is, I obviously haven't been doing so great at working on them. The third thing was new. 1. He doesn't like it when I correct him in front of others, including our children. 2. It irritates him that I question his expertise in certain areas. 3. He doesn't like it when I brush him off, for whatever excuse, when he comes home in the evenings and greets me. Now, I could sit here and justify all 3 of these things. But rightly, and fairly, I cannot. I do not do the best at working on these. As a wife I should be exhorting my husband, at home and in front of others. I should be doing all that I can to set him up for success and not for failure. When it comes to his expertise, I believe there is something to be said about not always having to be correct. I know for myself, I have to fail sometimes in order to learn how to persevere and learn from my mistakes. It's always nice to have someone encouraging and supporting around that, even if they know the correct way, they don't say "I told you so" or rub your face in your mistake. I need to be more encouraging and supporting of my husband. And the third thing, I fuss at my husband all the time about not giving me and the kids some attention when he gets home. I get so wrapped up in the things that I'm doing when he gets home that I don't even take a few seconds to return his smooch half the time. Talk about eating my own words, YUCK!! Needless to say, this day's dare has shown me that I have room for improvement!